AliExpress Crime Syndicate Starter Pack

Written By

Tim View Profile

It's hard work setting up a crime syndicate. Thankfully we've got this starter pack for the aspiring crime lord on a budget. Whether you're just dipping your toe in life beyond the law, or launching a fully fledged syndicate, this pack is filled with all the essentials to take your crime game to the next level. If it's too deep for you, swing by the main feed to find the best of AliExpress on the regular, law-abiding side of Thieve.

PORTABLE MONEY COUNTER

The first thing your syndicate will be making is money, and lots of it. With this portable money counter you can sit back and chill while it reliably does the numbers, or take it with you for those “tax-free” deals from the back of your cadillac, no problem.
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DICTIONARY SAFE

Once your money’s counted, you’ll need to stash it. These are small so you’re going to need about 200, but what could be better than an entire library of fake books filled with cash? Set up early and don’t run into unforeseen cashflow problems.
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PARACORD SURVIVAL KNIFE

This should really be your first order as some of the packaging from your other “deliveries” might have that heavy duty tape and you’re going to need something sharp to get things open.. know wha I mean.

SECURITY SYSTEM

More money, more problems. People are gonna come after you so you’re going to need to lock down the compound. Cover some of the blind spots with the eyes that are always watching.
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NIGHT VISION BINOCULARS

A good security setup sees threats approaching well in advance. Scouts on the rooftops is fine during the day, but when night falls you’re exposed. Set your crew up with these 300m Range Night Vision Goggles and your fortress will be impenetrable.

MAGNETIC GPS TRACKER

In the crime world they say that knowledge is power, and power is money.. and whats more powerful than knowing your enemies exact location. Keep tabs on whoever or whatever with this GPS tracker. Just throw it at anything metal and the powerful magnet will hold in place and give you a live feed of your target for the next 30 hours.
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HIP FLASK CIGAR TUBE

9 out of 10 crime lords prefer their cigars stashed away in protective steel tubes. To win around the 10th, the head of product at China’s famed JiuJiu store added a hip flask.
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RETRO WHISKEY TUMBLERS

We’re not going to lie, although it’s glamorous, living the life of crime can be super stressful. You’re going to need to unwind on the reg, set up your pad with these tumblers to knock back your finest whiskey, Tony Montana style.
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CABLE TIES

Much like duct tape, cable ties literally holds any renowned crime syndicate together. Double down on these 250 packs to keep things tied up – money bags, ankles, wrists, whatever.

ELECTRIC GETAWAY BIKES

Set your posse up on these electric motorbikes and be nice to the planet while you’re swarming on rival syndicates operating in your hood.

CONFETTI LAUNCHER

Never let the wins go uncelebrated. Keep your crew’s morale up by celebrating your latest heist in style. This Confetti Launcher works just as well with money as it does with actual confetti.
With that we’ll leave you with our favourite quote from Narcos: “In the United States, the Mafia makes witnesses disappear so they can’t testify in court. In Colombia, Pablo Escobar made the whole court disappear” Peace! Team Thieve